It has officially been a decade! Brian and I got married 10 years ago on a sunny but cool day near the shore of my beloved Lake Michigan. My family and friends were all there, and life was beautiful. 4 months later he deployed to Iraq, so we had to make the most of those 4 months. We traveled in Europe for a honeymoon, visited friends in far-flung states, and burned through all our wedding money. It was bliss. The rest of the year proved to be the opposite of bliss. They say that the first year is the hardest. Well, we spent most of the first year apart, across the world from each other, one of us in a war. Talking on the phone infrequently, and writing letters until my hand would cramp.
Funny enough, although we've been through two deployments in our marriage, and Brian has missed more birthdays and holidays than I can remember, he has managed to be around for our anniversary. A well timed mid-tour R&R. Or making it back home from deployment just the month before. I know we have a lot of years ahead of us, and we may not always get to spend our anniversary together from here on out, but we got that first 10.
And it has been a full, blessed first 10. 5 states, 2 apartments, 3 houses, 2 kiddos, 1 dog, 1 fish, and all the joy that a full, blessed life can afford. It has been the best 10 of my life, and I'm excited for what the next 10 hold for us.
During Brian's first deployment he sent me a poem that he wrote just for me. It is something I treasure, and read often, especially if we're going through a rough patch. It always softens my heart. He said I could share it here.
I belong next to you.
Of all of the places
that I have longed for,
the place that I want most,
is the place that I can't have.
So I content myself
to live with you
inside my mind.
In there I give you
all of the things
I want to give you myself.
We build a house
and we choose each stone, brick,
tile, beam and piece of wood
very carefully.
Because this house has to last
a long time.
It's big and strong and solid,
because this is where we continue
the process of going from you and me
to us.
We spend a long time
finding just the right size
Table. One that is big
enough for noisy Children
and noisy Grandparents
and noisy friends. But,
one that is small enough
that I don't feel too far
from you when it's just us
We spend a long time
finding just the right
Bed. One that is big
enough for us and sleepy
Babies, and small enough
that you are always close to
me.
We find lights to talk by,
and lights to make love by,
and pictures to sit under and
a couch that is too big
because I want to snuggle with
You.
We fill it with things,
even though we don't really
like things. As we become
us, we accumulate the
trappings of our new
improved self. And so
our house grows and matures
and so do we. Our trees grow
and our children grow
and we grow together
and one day there is just
us:
you, me, the house, the kids, the dogs
and all of the stuff that makes us us.
And one day one of us isn't anymore
and the next neither is the other
and that's OK because the larger part of
US
Will go on being us,
The stuff, the dogs, the kids and
the house,
that I am building in
my mind.
Until I can be with you and
we can start being us,
together again.
Love always,
Your Brian
