Friday, May 3, 2013

10 years!

It has officially been a decade!  Brian and I got married 10 years ago on a sunny but cool day near the shore of my beloved Lake Michigan.  My family and friends were all there, and life was beautiful.  4 months later he deployed to Iraq, so we had to make the most of those 4 months.  We traveled in Europe for a honeymoon, visited friends in far-flung states, and burned through all our wedding money.  It was bliss.  The rest of the year proved to be the opposite of bliss.  They say that the first year is the hardest.  Well, we spent most of the first year apart, across the world from each other, one of us in a war.  Talking on the phone infrequently, and writing letters until my hand would cramp.  
Funny enough, although we've been through two deployments in our marriage, and Brian has missed more birthdays and holidays than I can remember, he has managed to be around for our anniversary.  A well timed mid-tour R&R.  Or making it back home from deployment just the month before.  I know we have a lot of years ahead of us, and we may not always get to spend our anniversary together from here on out, but we got that first 10.

And it has been a full, blessed first 10.  5 states, 2 apartments, 3 houses, 2 kiddos, 1 dog, 1 fish, and all the joy that a full, blessed life can afford.  It has been the best 10 of my life, and I'm excited for what the next 10 hold for us.  

During Brian's first deployment he sent me a poem that he wrote just for me.  It is something I treasure, and read often, especially if we're going through a rough patch.  It always softens my heart.  He said I could share it here.

I belong next to you.
Of all of the places
that I have longed for,
the place that I want most,
is the place that I can't have.
So I content myself
to live with you
inside my mind.
In there I give you
all of the things
I want to give you myself.
We build a house
and we choose each stone, brick,
tile, beam and piece of wood
very carefully.
Because this house has to last
a long time. 
It's big and strong and solid,
because this is where we continue
the process of going from you and me
to us.
We spend a long time 
finding just the right size
Table. One that is big
enough for noisy Children
and noisy Grandparents
and noisy friends. But,
one that is small enough
that I don't feel too far
from you when it's just us
We spend a long time
finding just the right
Bed. One that is big
enough for us and sleepy
Babies, and small enough
that you are always close to
We find lights to talk by,
and lights to make love by,
and pictures to sit under and
a couch that is too big
because I want to snuggle with
We fill it with things,
even though we don't really
like things. As we become
us, we accumulate the
trappings of our new
improved self. And so
our house grows and matures
and so do we. Our trees grow
and our children grow
and we grow together
and one day there is just
you, me, the house, the kids, the dogs
and all of the stuff that makes us us.
And one day one of us isn't anymore
and the next neither is the other
and that's OK because the larger part of
Will go on being us,
The stuff, the dogs, the kids and
the house,
that I am building in 
my mind.
Until I can be with you and
we can start being us,
together again.

Love always,
Your Brian


  1. Happy anniversary, you guys! That poem made me all love-y dove-y. Now I need to go kiss my husband. Here's to the next ten!

  2. That is such a beautiful poem, Brian!
    First as a couple that was destined to be together. Then as a free-spirited pair touring the world. Then as a bride and groom on an exquisite May ten years ago. Then as parents when a love that was so big became even bigger. Always a two together are a part of my soul, where all that is beautiful resides and exists just to provide truth that the best things in life aren't things. I can't imagine not knowing and being a witness to such an amazing bond. You make other marriages stronger with your love. Happy 10th anniversary to the two little love birds that sing in my soul.

  3. Congratulations on ten years! I like Brian's poem too, and it sounds like you have given him everything he has hoped for... except a dog. Peer pressure that you get another dog. Here, I have one you can have. :-) May the next ten years be more wonderful than the first. Congratulations, again!

  4. uh, so you made a pregnant lady sob at work... but that's okay cause I love you both! xoxo

  5. What an amazing poem, that's just lovely. Congratulations on 10 years and hope you guys have a good anniversary!

  6. Happy anniversary! Love that photo of you two, and wowzers Brian! What a poem!

  7. Okay, seriously got tears in my eyes from that poem! The happiest anniversary to you two!

  8. Happy belated anniversary! You're a beautiful couple and you've created a beautiful family. I loooove that poem!!

  9. Congrats to you both - and how cute you looked at that wedding pic! :-)

  10. Happy anniversary!!! Beautiful pictures & a beautiful poem for a beautiful life!

  11. Love the wedding pic. And the poem actually made me cry. What a sweetheart. :)

  12. That poem made me cry, Ruthie. What a beautiful thing you guys share! Happy (belated) ten years!


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