Wednesday, July 18, 2012

the truth

I've been wanting to write about this for a while now.  I get a lot of compliments from friends and strangers alike regarding the content of my blog.  Which is really really nice.  I like compliments!  But.  There is this undercurrent that comes with the compliments.  Like "I don't know how you find the time!" Or "You cook, do projects, AND you keep a garden?"  I can feel the general belief from friends that Brian and I have a perfect relationship, I always cook a gourmet dinner, and I am completely in touch with my children on all levels.  Well!  Let's dispel a few myths about this woman behind the blog. 

Blogging is this weird little universe where everyone puts their best foot forward and (usually) leaves the dregs of their lives away from view.  That sounds like it's not being truthful, or just being delusional, but it's not that for me.  When I started this blog, I made a few decisions.  I wanted my blog to be a happy place.  I didn't want it to be a place where I continually vent my frustrations in life.  I didn't want it to become a place that had a negative or downer vibe.  I decided to NEVER say anything negative about Brian on here.  I've read blogs that did all the things I just mentioned, and I just never went back. 

Don't get me wrong, I've definitely complained about life here and there.  Sometimes life is hard!  But I just did not want it to become a habit.  So I put hardships out there once in a great while, and then move on.  I personally think that works for my blog. 

So, let me tell you the truth.  I probably cook dinner 3 to 4 times a week.  And sometimes by "cook" I mean I make sandwiches.  Like I did for Brian when he got home last night.  The rest of the week we eat leftovers or we get take out.  That is the truth of my cooking.  I tend to cook more on the weekends while Brian is around to herd littles out of the kitchen. 

I have a babysitter that comes for 8 hours every week so that I can do a project here or there.  Or to go to the store all by myself.  Or to stare out the window for an hour.  Whatever I feel like.  I know this is a luxury.  And it's the only way I can actually work on a project around here.  So the thought that I juggle two toddlers while painting or embroidering or editing pictures is just false.  I get HELP for that.

Brian and I are not perfect.  We are lucky to have each other, and I believe we have a healthy relationship.  But we have our moments!  Brian always says I am so nice to him on my blog- I never say anything bad about him.  Well, there are times I probably could!  But how would that help anything?  Complaining about him in a space where he can't really defend himself seems really wrong.  So you guys see him in ONLY a good light.  And I like it like that.  He really is a good guy, so it's not like I'm keeping major skeletons in his closet here.  I'm talking about those small, every-day annoyances that you chat about with your best friend on the phone.  That kind of thing has no place here, in my opinion.

And as far as motherhood goes, well, I'm a work in progress.  I let the littles watch cartoons while eating breakfast.  I use disposable diapers on Rowan (gasp!  the environment!  I KNOW.).  I have yelled.  Lots.  Even though it never works.  I let them have non-organic, processed food snacks that sometimes contain sugar.  I often wish the babysitter was here.  I cry when they are being particularly beastly.  I sometimes watch a show on the ipad with my earbuds in while sitting on the floor playing with them.  Because they never. stop. asking. questions.  I could lie and say I love every second of being a mom, but I'm telling the truth here.  Being a mom is hands down the hardest thing I've ever done. 

So.  I just wanted you all to know life isn't perfect here.  And I'm not trying to portray myself as some clone of Martha Stewart.  I really enjoy doing the things I post about here, and I've just tried to find way to get them done and posted.  I'm not trying to portray my life as perfect.  It isn't.  Life is messy and hard with punctuations of joy.  My life is no exception.  I have a good, happy life, but it's far from perfect.  And I like it that way. 


  1. Thanks for pulling back the curtain! You're right, it is so important to realize that none of us is perfect... When I first started reading blogs I think I had more of those thoughts. More of 'how does this person sew three dresses and watch a bunch of kids and make dinner". Now for some reason I just assume that there's more to the story; a pile of laundry out of frame or a sink full of dishes (okay maybe that's just my house right now!).

    You do accomplish a lot and the compliments are well deserved. I'm sure it's so much harder with two kids, I struggle with one... you seem to have a great balance. You're right though, who wants to be perfect- so boring!

  2. Haha - well, I´ve never hidden the fact that hubby does 98% of the cooking in our house! :-D About the rest; I think most people understand that life isn´t perfect for either of us, reading blogs are like reading magazines.

    But for me it´s also the fact that I am a quite happy person, I have been reminded the hard way (through meningitis and MS) that I have pretty darn much to be happy about. So that´s what I focus on in life, no matter if I´m writing on the blog or not. :-)

    But don´t worry - I´ve never suspected you to be a Martha Stewart clone, haha! :-D

  3. You have no idea how good it feels to hear your cooking schedule. LOL
    Last night I told Steve the dinner options were: chicken breast, ground chicken breast, or pizza. Sadly, he chose chicken breasts, but I am SO all about saving some sanity and getting takeout every so often. ;)

  4. Very well said! I totally agree, and my life is similar to yours! I certainly don't cook every day. I choose to focus on the positive on my blog, because when we focus on the positive, we start to feel more positive about our lives. I read blogs like yours for inspiration and ideas. There is enough negative in the news. I don't feel bad about myself when I read about the amazing things that other moms are doing. I see them as motivating. Good food for thought in this post!

  5. I agree with your thesis around your blog and wanting it to be a positive environment. Sometimes it's hard not to let that leak out onto your blog but it's good practice in self-restraint I think. Life is much more interesting with all the messy parts anyway. Don't be afraid to let some of it find its way into your blogging!

  6. you know we are all there. I yell...a lot. Everyone always tells me how well we are doing and how great we are with Jess and all. For one, they don't see our bad days, and two, we do our best, and a lot of times our best isn't enough, but we do it because we love our children. I must admit, I was a bit jealous of your sitter, but then I thought, you know, Jess is in school, and once a month she goes to school in INDY for a week. I always feel guilty for enjoying those breaks. Thank you for sharing what we all know to be everyday life.

  7. I say it again. I am so proud of you and I really admire how you face down all the negatives and seek the positives in life. You are amazing.

  8. Perfection is overrated~*

    Its the ups & downs & crazy times that make life, well, life-- congrats for celebrating it!

  9. I am totally going to steal the show on the ipad with the earbuds idea. But really, I completely get it. I don't want to read a blog that's always negative or sad. And if I see people complain about their husbands I pretty much never go back. Real life is never going to be pretty all the time, but we don't have to share EVERYTHING! I think you do an excellent job writing, sharing and editing!

  10. First visit to your blog & find such a heart filled post! As a mama of 4 I also am "a work in progress". Love how you put that. Cheers to your honesty, your heart said what mine often feels. Its all good.
    Danielle ~

  11. Amen to you my dear. You are perfectly imperfect and you are one of the best friends and mamas I have ever had the privilege of having and knowing. Thanks for always inspiring. Posts like this make me miss you so much!


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