this is thirty-five

Thirty five.  It sounds very solidly middle-aged.  And I have a solidly middle-aged life with my husband and two kids.  But it's more than that.  I realize that the older I get, the more I appreciate what I've been given all my life.

Starting with my parents.  They are wonderful, and I think they gave me such a solid base of love, education, and religion.  Practical yet spiritual, involved but not suffocating, and supportive instead of critical.  They gave me an idyllic childhood, and by that I don't mean I got everything.  I got just enough.  Just enough to make me feel safe.  Just enough to help me reach for goals.  Just enough to let me grow.  I'd be lying if I told you I feel grown-up, but they gave me the tools to BE a grown-up.

And then I had and have the most amazing friends.  Don't even try and tell me that yours are better!  Ha!  I have had the same group of friends since pre-K.  And although we are scattered across the country, we are still so involved in each other's lives.  We have been bridesmaids for each other, god-parents for each other's children, and a lifeline when Brian has been deployed.  I actually LIVED with one of my good friends during Brian's first deployment.  That's true friendship.  Cause I'm messy.  They encourage me in every endeavor, and we feel such pride in each other's accomplishments.  I have made other close friends thanks to college and the Army, and I feel like I have been touched by the friendship gods, because they are just as amazing, too.  Heck, even those of you who I've never actually met, but I feel like I know through the blog world are amazing people, and you have made such a positive impact on my life.  (thanks for that!)  Sorry for the over-use of the word "amazing."

And of course my life didn't actually begin until Brian.  I know, so dramatic.  But he has helped me become the person I am now by showing me just how to be the best person that you can be.  Maybe it's his service to our country, maybe it's the way he takes good care of our littles, maybe it's the way he makes me feel still after all these years.  He's as good a man as they come, and he helps to set a big precedent  for me of what makes a person a good person.  He's the best.

And my children.  They have turned these past 5 years into a whirlwind.  I have never seen years melt away so quickly in my life.  I probably have gray hairs in there somewhere (who knows?) and I have lines crinkling around the edges of my eyes and mouth.  And I feel like I earned them ALL.  My kids are challenging, loving, and so lovely.  They have taught me more about myself than anyone else.  I've learned the limits of my patience (it can be short).  And I've learned the limits of my love (it's endless).  Who knew?  Children can teach us so much, if we just pay attention.

So this is thirty-five.  It doesn't feel that different than twenty-five.  And it feels hugely different all at the same time.