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Monday, February 11, 2013

this is thirty-five

Thirty five.  It sounds very solidly middle-aged.  And I have a solidly middle-aged life with my husband and two kids.  But it's more than that.  I realize that the older I get, the more I appreciate what I've been given all my life.

Starting with my parents.  They are wonderful, and I think they gave me such a solid base of love, education, and religion.  Practical yet spiritual, involved but not suffocating, and supportive instead of critical.  They gave me an idyllic childhood, and by that I don't mean I got everything.  I got just enough.  Just enough to make me feel safe.  Just enough to help me reach for goals.  Just enough to let me grow.  I'd be lying if I told you I feel grown-up, but they gave me the tools to BE a grown-up.

And then I had and have the most amazing friends.  Don't even try and tell me that yours are better!  Ha!  I have had the same group of friends since pre-K.  And although we are scattered across the country, we are still so involved in each other's lives.  We have been bridesmaids for each other, god-parents for each other's children, and a lifeline when Brian has been deployed.  I actually LIVED with one of my good friends during Brian's first deployment.  That's true friendship.  Cause I'm messy.  They encourage me in every endeavor, and we feel such pride in each other's accomplishments.  I have made other close friends thanks to college and the Army, and I feel like I have been touched by the friendship gods, because they are just as amazing, too.  Heck, even those of you who I've never actually met, but I feel like I know through the blog world are amazing people, and you have made such a positive impact on my life.  (thanks for that!)  Sorry for the over-use of the word "amazing."

And of course my life didn't actually begin until Brian.  I know, so dramatic.  But he has helped me become the person I am now by showing me just how to be the best person that you can be.  Maybe it's his service to our country, maybe it's the way he takes good care of our littles, maybe it's the way he makes me feel still after all these years.  He's as good a man as they come, and he helps to set a big precedent  for me of what makes a person a good person.  He's the best.

And my children.  They have turned these past 5 years into a whirlwind.  I have never seen years melt away so quickly in my life.  I probably have gray hairs in there somewhere (who knows?) and I have lines crinkling around the edges of my eyes and mouth.  And I feel like I earned them ALL.  My kids are challenging, loving, and so lovely.  They have taught me more about myself than anyone else.  I've learned the limits of my patience (it can be short).  And I've learned the limits of my love (it's endless).  Who knew?  Children can teach us so much, if we just pay attention.

So this is thirty-five.  It doesn't feel that different than twenty-five.  And it feels hugely different all at the same time.

12 comments:

  1. Nnnoooooo! I don't have a daughter who is 35!!!! How did that happen???? You are so beautiful in appearance, but also as a person. You are caring, clever, creative, sweet and spicy, and so very grounded in the knowledge of what the important things in life are. The day you came into the world was one of the most important of my life and as I look back I am amazed that we were amazed at that tiny baby but now even more amazed at who she has grown into. Lots of love

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  2. It's nice that in a world that turns birthdays into "me, me, ME!" you have turned your birthday into a day that celebrates your relationships with people. Happy birthday! May your 35th year include those lovely family members, great friends, wonderful husband and awesome kids you've got. You deserve them all!

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  3. You look great for 35. 35 is young, it's the beginning of more to come and it's part way through something amazing, like you're favourite book. I hope I look as good as you do and feel as good as you feel when I reach 35 (not too far away and i'm looking forward to it!)
    Bella @ Sea and Salt
    xxx
    http://www.seaandsalt.com

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  4. It is still so hard for me to believe you are 35. I mean, really? That young face of yours :) I am thankful that you write this blog, as I love reading it. Here's to another wonderful year for you and your lovely family!

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  5. Happy happy birthday- you've got a lot to celebrate! Of course I hardly think 35 is middle aged, I thought you had to be at least 40 for that title :) I'll be joining you in the spring and I'm going to pretend that anything starting with a 3 is still young.

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  6. Happiest of birthdays! And I know just what you mean about not feeling any different, yet everything being different just the same~*

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  7. Maybe 35 is your perfect age - but there's always lots of good numbers to be, right? :) I think you're pretty great. Glad you got to enjoy your day.

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  8. Happy Birthday! You are a beautiful 35. I'm gonna say, like Lilly, that 35 is not middle aged, though. Of course, I'm over 40 so I would prefer to call 45, maybe 50 middle aged. ;)

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  9. Congrats to you and may you have nothing but fab years in the future as well! :-)

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  10. Ruthie, Happy Birthday again! When we get to be this age, we should be proud of ourselves for all that we've discovered and learned about life. And as a friend of yours and someone who cares about you deeply, it's very satisfying to see you so happy--with little regard to what the calendar year is. If everyone could impart your generosity, love, wisdom, and light, our world would be GLOWing. You're like a feather: a rare find, delicate and beautiful, and "tickles" those whom you touch. You're a funny, intelligent, and amazing friend. Love YOU!!!

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  11. Happy birthday Ruthie! I hope it was a wonderful day and all you deserve! What a great way to look at 35 and your happy life. And I totally get that 35 may feel like middle age, but I think as long as we're still in our 30's we can still safely say we're young! :) I can't believe you have friends from pre-K! What a wonderful blessing.

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  12. Thirty five is a good year. You are looking lovely at the outset of it... and it sounds like you're all ready to enjoy it (feeling blessed is a great place to be when birthdays come and go). I rarely feel grown up either, by the way. I remember my grandma telling me that she still felt like a young, not quite grown up girl. Enjoy, and I sure hope you're feeling all the way better soon. Lynaea @ EverydayBloom.com

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your comments are the peanut butter to my jelly!