Friday, March 18, 2011

Friday Facts: Running is fun! For other people.

The year before I gave birth to my first child, I decided to train and run in a 5K.  I decided my husband would be the one to train me.  This was a mistake.  My husband has been in the military for roughly half his life now, and training in the ARMY is much different from what I needed as a milquetoast, out of shape, squishy suburbanite.  Well, it's much different from what I WANTED.  I wanted someone to make it easy.  And enjoyable.  Starting to run from scratch is neither easy nor enjoyable.  But I made him train me, and he put in all the effort he that he also gave to his tubbiest private.  Which included something like pushing my back while running faster than I wanted and barking out things like: Go!  You're not running!  RUN!  Now you're not moving AT ALL!!!!  Geesh.  Yes, we're still married.  But we never ran together after that.  Well, to clarify, I never ran after that 5K.  Until now.

I started a program about a month ago to help me train myself this time around.  It is not much easier.  If I'm following it exactly.  Which I don't always do.  I'm easier on myself than my husband was.  But I know myself enough to know this:  If I make it super miserable, then I just won't do it.  So I only make it partially miserable.  The fun parts include getting a babysitter or dropping the kids off at the gym daycare.  Yay!  Also, I listen to music on Pandora this time around, which I didn't do before.  I listened to my husband shouting at me to MOVE MOVE MOVE.  Not so fun as music.  But as I have found, music has a big impact on how fast, how long, and how hard you work. 

This is the part of my post where I bare my soul to you.  This is going to be embarrassing, but the fact of the matter is that I am a big dork.  So here we go, stream of conscious from the last time I went running:

Ouch.  These new shoes make my toes go numb.  And they're rubbing the back of my heels a lot.  Speaking of rubbing, I think my thighs might start a fire.  Oh, here's the Florence and the Machines song my friend said was so good for running!  Here we go... run fast for your mother, run fast for your father... yeah!  This is good.  Ugh, my butt jiggles a lot when I run.  This is bad.  Oh look, that guy is lapping me before I get even one lap in.  So is this lady.  Wait, this lady is like 50.  Man, I'm outta shape.  Oh, old man.  Please put on longer shorts.  It is no longer the 70's and you are no longer in your 30's.  Hm, what song is this?  Adam McHeffey, I don't know who you are.  I like your song, but it's no good for running.  Let's try a different station.  Yes, the Broadway station!  That might be good.  Yes, it IS a hard knock life.  Hey, this is a good song for running.  Wait.  Can that guy hear that I'm listening to Annie while I run?  I better turn this down a little.  Oh, Les Miserables!  I haven't listened to this in eons.  On My Own.  Not so good for running.  Oh, but I'll listen a little.  This reminds me of when my husband was deployed.  Oh man, I better skip this song.  Oh no, I'm tearing up.  Oh no, that man is looking at me like I've gone crazy.  I'm now the crazy chubby girl who cries while she tries to run.  Ok, back to the Mumford and Sons station.

This is just about a 7 minute increment of what I'm thinking about when I run.  It's not pretty.  But I'm sharing because I knew you'd read this and not judge me.  Right?  RIGHT???

{I don't have a picture of me running- thank God.  I do have a picture of my husband on his last deployment to Iraq.  Now you see why I tear up thinking of missing him.}


  1. I peed my pants reading this! Ruthie, you've got the comedic runner category covered!!!

  2. None of this is true. I never yelled at you or even raised my voice. I only went along with the first 5K under duress. Your current program is much better and you are doing a great job. I am so proud of you baby!


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