Wednesday, October 12, 2011

subconscious speaking

If my dreams are any indication, then something is bothering me.  I dreamt that the brakes failed on my car.  Then I dreamt that I was late for a big event.  Then I dreamt that my new neighbors were critiquing our garage, which in my dream was curiously filled with paper towels.  And only paper towels.  They were not kind in their critique.

So I'm guessing it's all the new changes happening, but who knows?  Our Illinois house has been up for sale since July, but we had no offers until Sunday.  And the offer?  Well, let's just say it is for roughly 2/3 less than what we payed for it in 2007.  Obviously we don't have many options what with being in the Army and all, so we just need to get rid of it.  So we've been working with the bank for a deed-in-lieu of foreclosure.  It feels irresponsible, it feels somewhat shameful, but what else to do?  I know there are lots of others in our situation, and we're lucky that this won't affect our credit too badly since we're forced to move by the Army.  Anyway.  The bank accepted the deed-in-lieu, and now they have a (very low) offer to consider, so I need to wash my hands of worrying about the house.  It is no longer ours.  There is nothing else I can do.

And then.  Brian is in training here in South Carolina, and so he has less time to be home and with us.  And in a couple weeks, he'll start classes for his Masters.  So then there will be even LESS time.  And more STRESS on him, which means, well, you know.  More stress on US. 

But, I'm trying to change my perspective.  This training is necessary to further his career.  Ditto on the Masters degree.  So how can I be upset or stressed about something that will lead to our overall well being and stability?  I can't.  Not very many people can claim to have such opportunities in this economy, right?  Right. 

So.  In the meantime, I will try and concentrate on my end of the deal.  And that's to hold down the fort while Brian is busy working towards OUR future.  So I'll try and enjoy it by blowing bubbles.

And turning on the sprinkler when he asks, even when it's 65 degrees out.

And by keeping them smiling, even when we all feel like crying.

p.s. yes, our yard is a sand pit.  we are aware, and have taken steps to correct it.

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